A diary is written for yourself, about today. A memoir is written for strangers, about your whole life. A legacy journal sits between the two: it is written for a few specific people, usually your children or grandchildren, about the things you would want them to have if they could only ask you once.

That is why legacy journal prompts are different from ordinary journal prompts. “How was your day?” is a diary question. “What do you hope your grandchildren never stop doing?” is a legacy one. The first records a moment. The second hands something on.

The sixty prompts below are for anyone keeping one: a parent writing for a new baby, a mother or father writing for grown children, a grandparent writing for grandchildren, or someone setting a journal up as a gift for a parent. Use them in any order. One a sitting is plenty.

What goes in a legacy journal

Most legacy journals end up holding four kinds of thing, and it helps to know that before you start.

The record. Names, dates, places and facts that would otherwise disappear: where you were born, who your grandparents were, the address of the first house you owned.

The stories. The small, specific scenes your family has heard in pieces or never heard at all. These are what people read first.

What you have learned. Beliefs, lessons and opinions, written plainly. Not a list of rules, just what you actually think and how you came to think it.

What you want them to know. Thanks, hopes, apologies and plain affection, said in writing because it is easier than saying it across a table.

A good legacy journal has some of each. If you only write stories, it reads like a memoir. If you only write lessons, it reads like a lecture. The prompts are mixed for that reason.

Legacy journal prompts: the record

Write your full name, where you were born and who named you.
Write down your parents’ and grandparents’ full names, and anything you know about where they came from.
List every address you have lived at, as far back as you can, with a line about each.
Write about the jobs you have held, in order, with what you actually did in each.
Write down the dates that matter in this family, and why.
Describe the family’s oldest possession and how it came to you.
Write down the names of the people in the photographs nobody else can identify.
Note any family health history your children should mention to a doctor.

The last one sounds clinical in a legacy journal, but it is often the page a family is most grateful for.

Where you come from

Describe the house you grew up in, starting at the front door.
Write about a family tradition and where you think it started.
Write about a relative you never met but heard about all your life.
Describe what a Sunday looked like in your family when you were a child.
Write about something your parents did for you that you only understood later.
Write about a phrase or saying that has been passed down in your family.

If you want more prompts about childhood and family history, the journal prompts for grandparents go deeper into the scenes of an early life.

What you have learned

Write about the best advice you were ever given, and who gave it.
Write about a mistake that taught you more than any success.
Write about something you believed at twenty that you no longer believe.
Describe what a good life looks like to you now.
Write about how you made the biggest decision of your life.
Write about what you have learned about money.
Write about what you have learned about work.
Write about what you have learned about friendship.
Write about what you have learned about marriage or long love.
Write about how you get through a hard week.
Write about something you are still working out.

Write these as stories, not slogans. “Be kind” is forgettable. The afternoon you learned why kindness mattered, with who was there and what was said, is not.

Faith, values and what matters

Write about what you believe, and how you came to believe it.
Write about a time your values cost you something.
Write about a person whose character you have tried to copy.
Write about what you think you owe to other people.
Write about something you have changed your mind about and are glad you did.
Write about what you would stand up for, even now.

You do not need to have firm answers to these. Writing honestly about uncertainty is just as valuable to a reader as writing about conviction.

The people you love

Write about the day each of your children was born, as you remember it.
Write about what each of your children was like at five years old.
Write about something one of them did that made you proud and they never knew.
Write about your partner as you first saw them.
Write about a friend who shaped your life.
Write about someone you lost, and what you would want your family to know about them.
Write about a person you have forgiven, or are still trying to.

Ordinary life now

Describe an ordinary day in your life this year, from waking up to bed.
Write about what is in your kitchen cupboards right now.
Describe the view from the window you look out of most.
Write about what you are reading, watching or listening to.
Write about what things cost this year, the way your grandparents talked about prices.
Write about what you are worried about, and what you are looking forward to.

These feel too small to be worth writing. They are often the pages a family reads most, because nobody else will ever record them.

Advice and hopes

Write what you hope your children never stop doing.
Write what you hope your grandchildren get to see that you did not.
Write the advice you would give someone on their wedding day.
Write the advice you would give someone becoming a parent.
Write what you would say to a grandchild who is having a hard year.
Write about what success means to you, so they can compare it with their own.
Write about a place you hope someone in the family visits, and why.
Write about how you hope to be remembered.

Things that are easier to write than say

Write a thank you to someone in the family who has never heard one from you.
Write about something you are sorry for.
Write about something you have always wanted to tell one of your children.
Write a short letter to a grandchild who has not been born yet.
Write about what your family has given you.
Write about the moment you felt proudest of this family.
Write about what you want them to do with this journal.
Write whatever you would want to say if this were the last page.

Number 56 and number 60 can be done as letters. If that form suits you better, writing a letter to your grandchildren covers how to start one and what to put in it.

How to keep going

Write a page, not a chapter. A legacy journal stalls when every entry feels like an essay. Half a page that is specific beats three pages that are general.

Date every entry. Your family will want to know when you wrote it, and it lets you see your own thinking change.

Write by hand if you can. Handwriting is part of what a family keeps. A printed page reads as information. A handwritten one reads as you.

Keep it somewhere you sit. A journal on the bedside table or next to your chair gets written in. One in a drawer does not.

Do not wait until you have something important to say. Many of the best pages are the ordinary ones, written on an ordinary day.

What to write it in

A good notebook with wide lines and a sturdy cover works, with prompts copied at the top of the page as you go. If you would rather have the structure already there, guided legacy journals exist that do the setting up. The Family Legacy Journal is one: 58 questions in 8 chapters across 178 pages, $24.99 in hardcover and $17.99 in paperback on Amazon.com. Whatever you choose, check the paper takes your pen without bleeding through, and that the binding will last.

When it is finished, or as finished as these things get, what to do with a finished family journal covers how to keep it safe and how to share it without losing the original.

Choose one prompt from the record and one from ordinary life now, and write them both this week. Between them, they will tell you which way the rest of the journal wants to go.